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September 26, 2011

A Practical Way In Which To Implement Sheryl Crow's Green Initiative Agenda - Humor

Topics: Climate Change, Global Warming, Humor

(Warning: May be offensive to some readers)

Even as Al Gore's and the "Greenies'" much touted "Anthropogenic Global Warming" leftist "Redistribution of Wealth" through Carbon Credits scheme crumbles - in the face of the scandals and allegations of its major scientific proponents having cooked-up and or falsified much of the data, as well as of undeniable mounting scientific evidence that the planet goes through such episodic periods of climatic changes, and these are not directly related to the amount of CO2 and other so called "greenhouse gases" in the atmosphere, but rather may be in fact linked to solar events and other dynamic earth processes of which we are not even aware of as yet; and the recent implosion of Solyndra along with the failure of other "Alternate Forms of Energy" to satisfy present energy demands - as Obama and the "Greenies" intended; and as the inefficiency, prohibitive costs, and outright inconvenience of solar panel-electrified homes, putt-putt hybrid "Priuses", and wind driven washers and dryers, hits home - and our empty wallets amidst the Obama economy; the "Greenies", as a result, are in panic mode...weeping and hugging tress in their hysteria - even the concrete ones in Disneyworld! Seems everyday "reality" is finally catching up with them, and their environmentalist agenda is been run face first into the ground...no pun intended.

As you may recall, one proponent of drastic changes in our lives to accommodate Al Gore's and the left's alarmist "Global Warming" agenda, was none other than pop singer Sheryl Crow, who suggested there should be "regulations" - more government intrusion into our daily lives - governing, of all things, the amount of toilet paper we can use in one sitting! On that paradigm of leftist inanity and mental turpitude, The Huffington Post, Miss Crow blogged:

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit,"
Well at least it is comforting to know, that if Miss Crow's bottom is not....how shall I say it ... quite clean, and as a result odoriferous, at least she's one of the few liberals who apparently believes in God!

From the get-go Sheryl's "earth-friendly" proposal raises a number of questions concerning its application.

For one, how is the government going to regulate how many sheets of toilet paper we use in a sitting? Are we now going to have an Obama "Defecation Regulatory Agency" (isn't that the EPA?) and governmental "Defecation Inspectors" looking over our shoulders (or more likely under our buttocks) to oversee how many sheets of toilet paper we Americans use?

Then there is the logistics of big guys like me. As much as I may try, one sheet of toilet paper may prove not to be enough - after all, there is a lot of ground to cover!

Of course, not being able to use more than one sheet of toilet paper to finish my business, on account of the "government's business" as proposed by Sheryl Crow, I can always have recourse to dragging my bottom over my wet lawn to clean myself, but given that the environmentalists now also control at what time of the day and on what day of the week I can water my lawn, on account of "water conservation" and rationing, my lawn will most likely be asperous and dry, and it will be a "rough" experience to say the least...not to mention I don't think my neighbors would be very appreciative of the spectacle!

Enter this clever fellow on YouTube who has come up with a method with which Miss Crow and her "Greenies" can actually use one sheet of toilet paper efficiently (Warning - it's a bit crude):

As for me, call me an anti-environmentalist hog, but I think I'll stick to using as many rolls of toilet paper as it is necessary...even though I have to admit, that the technique this young man on YouTube came up with to implement Sheryl Crow's earth-friendly suggestion, would be very popular in "environmentalist-friendly" San Francisco...

Related: Capitalism's Biggest Users (Perfect examples of liberal hypocrisy)

Posted by Althor at September 26, 2011 2:13 AM



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