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May 6, 2011

On the White House's near-hourly revamping of key details of Sunday's raid: 'Like amateur dinner theater actors in a tragi-comic production'

Topics: Political News and commentaries

If you didn't catch Michelle Malkin's humorous piece yesterday on the White House's near-hourly, revamping of key details of Sunday's raid, buckle-up and make it your today's must read - you're in for a wild ride:

[...] Incapable of straightforward answers, Team Obama's clarity-challenged civilians have led nauseated news-watchers through more twists and turns than San Francisco's Lombard Street.

Take your Dramamine, and let's review.

Take One: Bin Laden died in a bloody firefight.

On Sunday night, Obama dramatically told the world that "after a firefight," our brave men in uniform "killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body."

Embellishing the story the next morning, White House deputy national security adviser John Brennan said at his briefing that bin Laden "was engaged in a firefight with those that entered the area of the house he was in. ... And whether or not he got off any rounds, I quite frankly don't know. ... It was a firefight. He, therefore, was killed in that firefight."

Take Two: Bin Laden did not engage in a firefight.

The day after Brennan disclosed such vivid details, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney walked them back Michael Jackson-style. Bin Laden, he said in version 2.0, "was not armed." Brennan had clearly implied that bin Laden "resisted" with arms. Carney amended the narrative by insisting that "resistance does not require a firearm." How exactly bin Laden resisted, Carney would not say.

It's been all downhill, uphill, K-turns and 180s ever since. Fasten your seatbelts:

Take Three: Bin Laden's wife died after her feckless husband used her as a human shield.

Take Four: Bin Laden's wife did not die, wasn't used as a human shield and was only shot in the leg. Someone else's wife was killed, somewhere else in the house.

Take Five: A transport helicopter experienced "mechanical failure" and was forced to make a hard landing during the mission.

Take Six: A top-secret helicopter clipped the bin Laden compound wall, crashed and was purposely exploded after the mission to prevent our enemies from learning more about it.

Take Seven: The bin Laden photos would be released to the world as proof positive of his death.

Take Eight: The bin Laden photos would not be released to the world because no one needs proof and it's more important to avoid offending peaceful Muslims who supposedly don't embrace bin Laden as a "true" Muslim in the first place.

Take Nine: Bin Laden's compound was a lavish mansion.

Take Ten: Bin Laden's compound was a glorified pigsty.

Take the time to read all twenty takes, and join with the rest of your understandably-confused fellow Americans in wondering what the people in the White House are smokin'!

Related: Law & Order: Special SEALs Unit

Posted by Hyscience at May 6, 2011 7:05 AM



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