"Sorry honey, I can't give you any cash right now. My assets are frozen" - literally! :: Political News and commentaries

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May 23, 2006

"Sorry honey, I can't give you any cash right now. My assets are frozen" - literally!

After almost having lived up to its "Southern Heritage" of "Gone With the Wind" with Katrina, the City of New Orleans doesn't seem to get a break!

Not only has it had to deal with one of the greatest natural disasters in American History which almost wiped it off the map, fumbled relief efforts, and a snail-paced reconstruction bogged down in the indolent "Bayous of Bureaucracy," but in addition it is also facing even more woes (not to mention the upcoming hurricane season!).

This time, though, it's not the "unpredictable forces of nature," such as politicians having "earmarked" for years Federal funds allotted for the maintenance and repair of the levees to pet projects in their districts somewhere else, but the consequences of very bad choices made by voters in Louisiana and the "Big Easy" themselves, which they persist in making with obstinacy to this day, as proven by the re-election of the incompetently popular Mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, a few days ago.

One has to wonder if Louisiana voters should be administered a "State Certified Mental Competency Test" before being allowed to pull that lever behind the curtain - lest they keep injuring themselves!

Not only have they elected a Governor, Kathleen Blanco, who was playing a game of "petty partisan politics" with the White House during Katrina while New Orleaners were out there in the storm dying, and a Mayor, which of course they just "had" to re-elect now who proved to be the "epitome" of incompetency, but it seems that to add to the Cajun "Pot Pourri" (it literally means "Rotten Casserole" in French) they also had to elect to represent them in Washington a real "Humdinger" of a Congressman: Rep. William J. Jefferson, who is now being investigated under charges of corruption after the FBI found $90,000 stashed in the Congressman's freezer of a $100,000 bribe made to him by an FBI informant.

Being that we are a "kinder gentler," "politically correct" nation, readers should be forewarned not to make anything out of the fact that all three - Blanco, Nagin, and Jefferson, are "Democrats," and should banish all thoughts about the coincidence from their minds. Banish the thought!

As for Congressman Jefferson, one may say that he surely has given a new meaning to the term "frozen assets," no matter what the outcome!

One may as well deduce from this incident that he likes "hard, cold cash" though his wife may have been in for a bit of a shock had she thrown one of the aluminum foiled frozen slabs of $10,000 in hundred dollar bills in the oven thinking it was Lasagna - it would have given a new meaning to the phrase: "Sorry Honey, I burned dinner," though in sooth one must admit that, true to his name, Congressman Jefferson was "moving on up"... except it turns out this time it may be not to the "East Side"....but to the "Big House."

On the Hill, the outrage was not so much about Congressman Jefferson's alleged egregious behavior, as about the FBI having had the "audacity" of raiding a Congressman's office!!!

Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, was quoted as indignantly protesting: "How dare they!" in solidarity with his fellow lawbreakers - Oops! Scratch that - I meant "lawmakers."

Needless to say, the FBI's unprecedented move is a violation of the long held privilege by Congressmen and Senators to be "above the law" as amply proven by the "precedents" laid down throughout history by the Kennedys from "Chappaquidick" to the recent "Senator Patrick's Wild Ride," rumored soon to be featured throughout Disney Parks all over the world, as a revamped modernized version of "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride."

Perhaps what Congressman Jefferson feared the most about the FBI raiding his Capitaline office, was that they may have inadvertently moved the carpet in the center of the room and revealed the slab with the "X" in the middle of the marble floor under which he's hidden the rest of his ill gotten booty "a la Indiana Jones"- "X marks the spot"!

But, let us not forget that the Congressman should be given the "Presumption of Innocence Until Proven Guilty" or until he finds a way to "spin it" and blame it on President Bush (I can almost picture the President snickering, as he tipped-toed out of the Congresman's home after having planted the money in his freezer!), to which I'm sure Howard Dean will add some harsh acerbic comments!

At any rate, to diminish despair over the confluence of such political mendacity in the "Jewel of the Mississippi" and the State that cradles it, and all else that ails her, one must bring out the Victrola, put on the 78 RPM record of "I Pagliacci", and sing along with Enrico Caruso : " Pianga Pagliacci! Pianga!" (Cry clown! Cry!) while darkly laughing!

Posted by Althor at May 23, 2006 3:54 AM

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