U.S. Outsources Homeland Security to North Korea :: Humor

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February 22, 2006

U.S. Outsources Homeland Security to North Korea

Topics: Humor

The little-known Korean company 'seems okay,' says Chertoff

Andy Borowitz at Newsweek has this "exclusive report":

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff raised eyebrows today by announcing that the United States would outsource all of it homeland security operations to a little-known North Korean firm called Jim Kong-Il Inc.

Coming just days after the controversial decision to allow several major U.S. ports to be run by a company based in the United Arab Emirates, the outsourcing of the nation's homeland security functions to an obscure company based in an Axis of Evil country struck some in Washington as ill-timed at best.

But Chertoff vigorously defended the decision in a Washington press conference this afternoon, calling Jim Kong-Il Inc. the "right firm for the job," adding, "I looked into the company and it seems okay."

When asked exactly how thoroughly he had vetted the North Korean firm, Chertoff said, "Well, I mean, I haven't Googled it or anything but you just have to trust me on this one."

Okay, you've got your doubts, right? Read the rest anyway - it makes about as much sense as handing our ports over to a UAE company!

Before you go screaming to your Congressman, remember, this is just satire!!!

Posted by Richard at February 22, 2006 1:58 AM

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