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February 27, 2006

An Intelligent Rant On Iraq - From The Big Pharoah

Topics: Iraq

The Big Pharoah, alone and hunkered down in a secure and undisclosed location somewhere in Egypt, has some interesting commentary on Bill O'Reilly's February 20 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, in which he suggested that the United States "hand over everything to the Iraqis as fast as humanly possible" because "[t]here are so many nuts in the country -- so many crazies -- that we can't control them." Apparently, O'Reilly then claimed that the "big mistake" was actually "the crazy-people underestimation." However, instead of giving up, The Big Pharoah offers an alternative plan:

1. Withdraw all US and coalition troops to Kurdistan in the north. Declare the creation of the state of Kurdistan.

2. Turkey will go nuts and remind the US that it has betrayed US-Turkish relations. Remind Turkey that Turks are one of the most anti-American people in the world and a single Kurd is more pro-US than a 70 year old stars and stripes banner waving farmer in rural Oklahoma.

3. Support rebel movements in Iran. Arabs, Baluchis, Kurds, all these hate the Mullahs. Finance them. Drop weapons from the air. Keep the Mullahs busy so they won't occupy South Iraq and swallow it (along with its oil fields). The Iranian people will not be happy with the US creating internal trouble in Iran? Well, with all my due respect to the Iranian people, the world can't wait any longer until they start a second revolution to overthrow the Mullahs.

4. Take the 3 brothers of Iraq The Model, Zeyad, and the other bloggers out of Iraq and into the US or Kurdistan. If they refused, sedate them, put them in a bag, and transport them. Don't forget their families though.

5. Release Saddam Hussein and issue an apology letter to the great tamer of Iraq.

6. Bring lots of beer, pizza, and enjoy the civil war waging down there.

His advice for President Bush in his closing commentary is worth considering; so much so that the White House should consider hiring The Big Pharoah as a foreign policy consultant.

Posted by Richard at February 27, 2006 2:07 PM

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