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February 2, 2005
Toy Soldiers
Topics: Strange but trueThe most famous U.S. hostage tells his story - a Tech Central Station exclusive:
1 February 2005: I have bribed a guard to fax this document. (The guard seems to be a hairy Mediterranean fellow with big buggy eyes and a passion for cookies. Strange. I am sending this fax to the only person I can trust: Lucy Ramirez, somewhere in Texas.
If this document appears elsewhere, you'll know that the lying irresponsible blogosphere is to blame.
I've slipped a sharpened staple into my boot. Soon I'll break out of here. I'll get new, better accessories, the kind that aren't legal in the US. Maybe a plastic missile that shoots out of my butt. Yeah, that's the ticket.
I will put out the eyes of Iraqi insurgents with my unsafe features. I will carry on the fight for freedom, one poorly-balanced step at a time. And I will fight for freedom wherever there's trouble.
I am John "Cody" Adam. Soon-to-be-former hostage. American action figure. And damned proud of it.
If you can't stand the suspense of knowing the whole story - go check it out!
Posted by Hyscience at February 2, 2005 7:07 PM
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