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January 8, 2005

Aircraft Laser Incidents Pinned on Gay Club-Goers

Topics: National News

Thanks to Hyscience reader Matt's email, I learned about the following information posted by The Swift Report blog (Update: Remember that this is pure satire - read update on bottom of post)

FBI agents have traced recent laser incidents, in which lasers have been aimed at airplanes and helicopters, to an unusual source: gay nightclubs. The green beams, say laser wielders, aren't for terrorism but for shining a light on club 'hotties.'

For one gay couple, night out ends in handcuffs

By Todd Fox

CLEVELAND, OH--Paco Garcia and his boyfriend Thom Feldman often joke that after a night of sweat and dancing at The Grid, Cleveland's premier gay hot spot, they are open to encounters with strange men. But this weekend, when the two men found themselves surrounded by strangers, their new friends weren't gay men looking for a good time. They were FBI agents.

A good time--gone bad
The trouble started when the couple was leaving The Grid around 1:30 AM en route to another popular Cleveland gay bar: the Cock Pit. While outside, Garcia began twirling a handheld green laser device--the lasers are popular accessories at gay dance clubs--and inadvertently pointed his laser beam at a police helicopter.   Read more(satire)..

Thanks again to Matt, and of course Swift Report.. for the humor.

Remember: This is pure satire

Update: When this post was written I mistakenly assumed two things. One, that it would be recognized for what it was and two, that the cost of green lasers was still very high and that the cost alone would be a clue. Big mistake on my part in both assumptions.

First of all, several readers emailed me asking questions that made it clear that some were taking the article a little too seriously (one considered it gay-bashing which certainly was the opposite of my intention, two readers wanted to know where to buy green laser pointers - they didn't ask me anything about "hottie spots" though). Additionally, two bloggers thought my satire meter was broken (little do they know that I am not usually known as humor-man and so that is always a danger but wasn't the case this time).

Secondly, the cost of green lasers is not still very high and as a matter of fact a green laser pointer of decent power that was $1.000 not too long ago can now be purchased for $149.00 (Regular Model with an estimated range of 12,000 ft) . Some cheaper models were found here. Although, a sophisticated system is still quite high - I found  systems in the low price range of (1,200-2,895). A high quality LUMALAZER PROFESSIONAL ML10 BG  SC-DMX LASER SYSTEM is even higher, priced at  $38,335.00 on sale.

A good article on the uses, costs, and size vs. power-cost issues is available here.

You can bet that humor-man will go back into his closet for multiple time-outs.

Posted by Hyscience at January 8, 2005 4:49 PM

Haha! Too funny.

"Oh take a look at that hottie."

"Which one?"

"The one with the laser pointed on him. I think he's a co-pilot."

Posted by: Chad Evans at January 8, 2005 5:07 PM



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